


Without Guile

by SunlitDarkness



Category: Camp Camp (Web Series)
Genre: Gen, Grief/Mourning, Grieving, Lies, death because it's Jasper
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-28
Updated: 2017-11-28
Packaged: 2019-02-08 04:31:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12856794
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SunlitDarkness/pseuds/SunlitDarkness
Summary: It's friendship if he remembers it that way.





	Without Guile

“Jasper’s story does not end here.”

David hadn’t twisted his voice like he did when talking for his younger self, and for a moment, his heart skipped beats because he can’t remember how Jasper’s voice sounded at all. He didn’t check the rearview mirror as often and kept his face in time with the story. In the back of his mind, David had thanked Tyson for insisting on method acting as part of his Camp Camp experience every single dang year.

But really.

“Jasper’s story does not end here.”

_God, what a lie._

David rested his head in his arms. Gwen sat in the other chair of their shared office space reading yet another romance novel. The official Camp Campbell paperwork detailing the cost of being towed crumpled under his hands. He choked back a bitter laugh when he tried to recall the specifics of his story. He remembered the campers’ faces in reaction much better than his actual words. It had started with a small lie and had told itself. He’d driven far far far past the hospital as all occupants of the car caught up in the hum of his voice and the thrum of the car.

Well, him falling in love with Camp Campbell and the Order of the Sparrow playing a role in it hadn’t been a lie.

The hike had been real. He’d emphasized and played into Jasper’s goading of Campbell, of his unbridled enthusiasm about the outdoors. Jasper had indeed gotten Campbell to bend the rules and let Davey tag along on the trip. David embellished the story about getting lost when his brain returned an error 404 message regarding anything other than Jasper’s new shoes and how they’d hurt his feet. Those stupid LA gear light up shoes. And none of what he’d told Max and Nikki and Neil and Spac-Niel had been the truth.

 

“Gwen, what would we do if one of the campers died out here?”

Gwen flinched and half fell out of her chair. Her feet slammed to the floor. “What in the-” her hands skittered through the air, fingers of one hand marking her place in the book. “What the fuck, David?” She shot him a look and deliberately held the book so he couldn’t read the title. “David, the only way that one of these kids would kick the bucket is if we didn’t supplement the Quartermaster’s sketchy sketchy food with the big box grocery shit. They’re too stubborn to die any other way. Hell,” she muttered, “They might even live through QM’s cooking out of spite. The camp is shit, not lethal, David.”

David smiled at her jest but it doesn’t quite reach his eyes this time. Not when his mind handed him memories of leaving and hiking and getting lost in the vastness of the woods around Camp Campbell. Of leaving with 3 and coming back with 2.

“Well, maybe that’s so, Gwen, and don’t get me wrong, I’m terribly impressed by our campers’ tenacity. But Gwen,” he faltered, “Accidents can and do happen. What would we do?”

Leaning over, Gwen poked him until he lifted himself off the table. “David, what the shit fuck have you done to drag yourself into this mindspace? Anxiety-inducing thoughts is my gig.”

He shrugged and laughed a bit, batting away her hand and lunging for her book. He missed but it diffused a bit of the tension. “Just thinking, Gwen. I guess it kind of actually occurred to me that we’re in charge. What would you do specifically?”

“Follow what other counsellors have done before us, I guess. I mean, Campbell’s shit and it wouldn’t surprise me at all if someone has died here before.”

“Yeah, I guess.”

 

It stayed with David; the lingering haziness surrounding Jasper’s death.

_Must be close to the anniversary then._

Thoughts linger like the dark depths of the lake and of bears’ roars in his ears. Thoughts about Jasper’s contagious smile and sharp looks whenever David called Greg a shitstain.

He’d been so mean.

So terribly terribly mean to everyone. And cruel to Jasper.

David had laughed so much more snidely than he should have at Jasper’s slang and his deliberate attempts at humor. At Jasper’s deliberate overtures of **friendship.**

David hadn’t told the kids about that.

He hadn’t told them how he rolled his eyes every time Jasper said more than two words of him, how he’d groaned every time he said David’s name. He didn’t mention that he had loathed every second of being partnered with Jasper for any activity they were forced to be together for. How whenever David heard Jasper’s name, he had gone so so tense and muttered vile things under his breath. David didn’t talk about the rumors he’d started and fed about his fellow camper. He kept his petty sabotages to himself; like the time he’d made Jasper sit in the end of the canoe with the rotted seat or the time he deliberately threw the baking competition only to make Jasper look worse. Even though Jasper and his teammate made fantastic muffins.  
He hated Jasper. It was probably jealousy that was misplaced into anger.

But he was ten and he hated Jasper.

Then Jasper died.

And David kept all these things to himself. Instead, he spun a tale and told the campers that he and Jasper had been unlikely friends. They didn’t need to revolve around each other and do everything together like Max and Neil and Nikki did. But, he insisted without meeting their eyes, they genuinely liked each other, were genuine friends. The story was ash in David’s mouth. The campers never indicated that they knew that.

He had no happy traditions to tell them about. No exciting adventures like they did. There was no specific tent space or seats that they claimed year after year. There was no secret handshake or inside jokes.

David wondered if they ever think his friendship with Jasper was weird or flat. If they’ll go home and live their lives and go back to school. That they’ll recount stories of their strange counsellor and his childhood friend. If they’ll stop and realize what David has known for years.

That Jasper wasn’t even his friend at all.

**Author's Note:**

> I definitely have an explanation for this.
> 
> I swear I do.
> 
> But if you wanna talk this fic or any of the other trillions of things rattling in my head, bother me at moreroads on Tumblr.


End file.
